The Roundup

Addy, my middel-est child, is sick. 


I hate when she's sick.  I hate when any of my kiddos get sick.


So last night she crawled in our (double) bed with us, only to find one dog and one 6 year old already camped out along with the folks. (I mentioned this is a double bed, right?)


After she found a spot (directly on top of my person, by the way) she coughed about 8 times in my face, told me I was pretty, and fell asleep.


What I want to know is, how in the heck does a little sick 4 year old find the energy to tell her Mama she thinks she's pretty at 4 in the morning?


The other day I was changing Jones diaper and she walked in and said, "Your doing a great job cleaning his privates Mom."  This kid is a natural encourager.

And as for Emerson?  Yikes.  That kiddo is smart, socially advanced and extremely comfortable with just about everything about herself.   She cut her own hair again the other day.  When we were having a little talk about it (again) she looked me in the eyes and said "Listen, who cares what I look like?  At least I had a good learning experience." 

And don't worry, she isn't part cat.  Heh.  That pic is... intense.  


And Jones... What can we even say about this dude?  2.5 years of cool.  Still not talking much, and has some more medical tests coming up.  So far, we know very little as far as what is going on health wise with Jones, but we do know a lot of things it isn't, and sometimes that's as great as answers.   


Jonahs name means peace, and I think it's so appropriate for this little man.  He has shown me that you don't need all the answers to enjoy life.

As for the Man and I... we are good.  Brett is loving school and I am loving music.  Sadly, those two activities rarely intersect.   And when I say rarely I mean never.

So really, yes, I wish Addy wasn't sick.

I wish Emerson would stop cutting her own freaking hair.

I wish I knew every health questions answer for my little man.

And let me tell you, It would be oh so cool to live a life that occasionally intersected with my boyfriends...

But at the end of the day, I tuck in an encourager, a creative genius, and a fighter.  I lay down next to a man who loves me, come what may.  And I wake up every morning refreshed, renewed, and excited about what the future holds.

Well, I feel that way right after a cup or six of coffee.

But I always get there!

be there,

Black Beauty

Black Beauty

Back in 2007, things were bad.  

Well, we had our health, we had our family, we had each other... 

But we were not happy.

Has that happened to you?  Everything looks fine from the outside, but on the inside, when your alone with the reality of your heart and soul and *ehem* checkbook, things look a little on the empty side?

We were there.  We were so there.  We were 5 miles past there, take a left and go further kind of there.  Yeah.  Far out.  And not in the groovy kind of way.

So we had a "Come to Jesus" talk.  You know the one.

"Why is nothing working?  Our marrige, our bussiness, our finances, our LIVES.  Why is everything so hard?  So what can we do to change that?"

Turns out, we could change everything.

We rented out our house, Brett sold the business that was making him miserable, we asked for help from our family, we asked for help from God, we started going to marriage counseling, and we sold all of our earthly possesions.

All but one.

Black Beauty.

Oh how I loved that piano.  I knew I could sell her for a few grand, but... I'm a musician!  That piano will be our meal ticket one day!  "It will be a family heirloom!"  "IT IS SO PRETTY!" 

Really, the excuses just write themselves.

So my holding onto this beautiful piano was silly for so many reasons.  We were living on love and camping out in my folks house.  Brett was gone 80 hrs a week working and at school, and I was prego.  Again.  Did I mention my folks had a great piano in their house already?  yeah.


And honestly, keeping the piano would have been OK, if it had not represented something bigger for me.


I did not want to let go of the life I had, and that was keeping me from this new life I had chosen.


Not a life without music, but a life without attachment.  Specifically, attachment to things.  Things that don't have a heartbeat or a soul. Things that cannot make you feel better when you are in that "far out place" I was talking about.


I learned my lesson.  I sold the piano.  I got a keyboard that is much less beautiful and much more practical.  But more than that, I put my things in their proper place, and my dreams in theirs. 

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.

joseph campbell

Each of us, each one, has a beautiful life waiting for us.  Letting go of the plan and embracing the real life story you are living is terrifying and sometimes painful, but it leads to a beautiful place.  

be brave, 

Chi Town & Back Down

You all know how I hate to be dramatic... heh... but folks, I'll be darned if I didn't just have the best time of my life this last weekend.  Boyfriend and I went to the wonderful land formerly known as Chicago.  I say formerly because now and forevermore it will be referred to as "That Place We Are Going Back To ASAP."  


I think I'm better at naming babies.  Whatevs.




The point is, holy cow it's a great city.  And like any great place, it's only as wonderful as the people in it.  Brett grew up with this dude Eric and they have managed to stay close for the last decade or two.  Things got even better about 7 years ago when Eric met Cristina and gave me a lady friend to laugh at our fellas with.  Thanks E.  So thoughtful.

I managed to not snap one pic of the lovely couple together.  But I got this one of Eric and I...

And just look at these two.  I heart these two.  I laugh at and with these two.  I snap sassy pics of these two.

Art.

Yeah so we went to the Museum, one of my two requests regarding the trip.  (the other request was a sit down talk about the trip we are hell bent to take in two+ years. Look for that blog post in 2015.  Ish)

This photo makes me happy.

Next years Halloween costume fo sho.

I am in love with this city.  In lerv.  Luv.  Amen.

So after we taught downtown a lesson and got a great nights sleep (well we did, E&C were on the couches.  Hospitality plus!) we decided to have hot dogs for breakfast.  Natch.

This place, called Hot Dugs, will change your life.  In good ways and bad.  

Selection.

There were 5 of us because we made our friend Scott come with us (yourwelcomescott) and we all ordered two pooches.

(Side note that reveals oh so much about me: I, for reasons unknown to me, assumed Scott and I had been friends for years.  Really.  When he finally pointed out we had, in fact been friends for two days and had not met ten years prior, as I thought, I was *SHOCKED*.  I'm amazing like that.  Oh well.  Were friends now, sucker!)

Then we cut those suckers up and shared.  So we all had two hot dugs at 1030am.  

Epic success.

And then we all had heartburn forever.

The End.

The trip to Chi Town reminded me of the simple truth; Love is enough.  Loving friends, loving travel, loving strangers, loving hot dogs, loving art...

It is really the root of  every good thing.  

So as we sail out of 2011 and rocket into 2012... I want to take love with me.  I want to be my usual, dramatic, over the top loving singing dancing me.  Because when I do, and when I am around people who live that way...

Life seems to love and sing and dance with me.

Are you ready for my list of resolutions?  Because I think you're going to be terrified/delighted to see how many of them now involve hot dogs.

be dramatic, 

The Bottom Top 5

Number One:


I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a flawed human in need of grace, forgiveness and a constant stream of caffeinated beverages.  This week has been brutal.  Brew-taaalllll.  


Sometimes life just wants to give you a high five.  In the face.  I'm begging God to teach me the lessons I need to learn from this most recent debacle.  God's good like that.  I don't think I'm going to be the same after this week, and I think that's a great thing.




Number Two:

But look at my eyebrows?  Handled.  I'm so happy with my eyebrows right now I tried to white out the background.  Didn't go great.  Moving on...


Number Three:

Halloween.  I love you.  I love pumpkins and trick or treating and costumes.  I love the fall, tucking away the summer and promising holiday cheer right around the corner.  This was our best year yet!  Three trips to the Pumpkin patch.  Nuff said.

Jones was supposed to be a lumberjack but took his shirt and shoes off.   Whatevs.

Number Four:


Music.  I can't stop.  I really love doing shows around PDX and this band I am playing with is amazing!  We are recording now and I am looking forward to having something to shove down my friends and families throats  sharing it with friends and family.


Number 5:

photo by ashleystrumphotography.com 

This is my sister.  She is, among other things, single.  Tell your friends.  Ok, don't because she will kill me, but what is up with this looker being single?  Anyway, It's weeks like this that make you thank God for a sister like Noel.  I love you Noellie.  (She enjoys music and dancing and is hilarious... Just saying... )

be afraid (of your sister),